Quick answers with a little personality. Search or tap a question to expand.
Because you dared to interrupt their Very Important Nothing™. Also, your tone was wrong. And your face. Just… everything.
Be specific about the task and timeframe, offer a simple choice (now or in 10 minutes), use a short timer, and praise completion. Avoid sarcasm or debating tone—keep it brief and neutral.
Teen energy runs on a lunar cycle powered by memes, caffeine, and spite.
Break chores into 5–10 minute chunks, attach a small reward (music, screen time), and set a predictable time for tasks earlier in the evening. Consistency beats intensity.
These are preset default settings. Vocabulary reboots after age 20.
Use low‑stakes, specific questions (1–10 scale, either/or). Reflect what you hear, don't interrogate, and try side‑by‑side talking (car, walk) to reduce pressure.
Because fashion. Also: hood = portable invisibility cloak.
Respect the preference while setting safety limits (hydration, shade, breaks). Offer breathable layers as options and save battles for higher‑stakes issues.
Five minutes are for showering; forty are for replaying arguments they lost two years ago.
Agree on a time limit, use a waterproof timer or playlist length, and schedule bathroom slots. If needed, adjust water heater mixing to discourage marathon showers.
You were born before wireless earbuds; your life experience is therefore obsolete.
Ask permission first: 'Want ideas or just a listener?' Validate feelings before sharing 1–2 brief suggestions. Revisit later if emotions are high.
Voice communication is for medieval peasants.
Set a family norm: text is OK for quick checks, but for requests say 'Come here, please' within a minute. Keep it consistent and calm.
That's the scent of adolescence. You'll miss it when they move out. (Probably.)
Normalize hygiene without shaming. Provide a hamper and trash can, set a laundry day, open a window/air out weekly, and consider a simple cleaning checklist.
They were actually hungry for something from a drive‑thru you didn't bring home.
Involve them in meal planning once a week, offer a predictable protein/fiber snack after school, and serve smaller portions with a no‑pressure 'tastes' rule.
It's their version of cardio.
Don't escalate over the eyeroll. Address behavior, not the expression. Model calm, set expectations privately, and reconnect later when emotions are down.
It's either snacks, an unofficial fundraiser, or a suspiciously specific bet.
Create a simple budget/allowance, ask for specifics or a photo, and use reimbursement or payment requests to track spending. Teach how to compare costs.
They do know. They just don't want you to know they know.
Give think time, try either/or or multiple‑choice, and break big questions into smaller steps. Avoid rapid‑fire follow‑ups.
They're auditioning for the role of 'Cool Main Character' in the Netflix of their life.
Identity exploration is normal. Avoid calling it out in front of peers; discuss values and boundaries privately. Host hangouts to observe dynamics.
Advanced strategic chore‑dodging.
Define 'done' with a short checklist and a quick photo of the finished task. Use 10‑minute sprints and remove blockers (supplies, unclear steps).
They believe in a shared economy… where only you share.
Create clear borrowing rules: a visible 'Yes Shelf,' what's off‑limits, and how to ask. Follow through with predictable consequences if items go missing.
Because you'll post it on Facebook with a caption that ends their social career.
Ask consent first, agree on sharing rules, let them choose from a few shots, and don't post without approval. Respecting privacy builds trust.
Teen circadian rhythms are set to 'vampire.'
Aim for a consistent sleep/wake window, limit late screens, charge the phone outside the room, place the alarm across the room, and use morning light. Consult a doctor if issues persist.
They thrive on the spicy seasoning known as 'panic.'
Schedule a homework block earlier, use 20/5 focus cycles, put the phone in another room, and teach backward planning from due dates.
It's their personal brand now.
Buy duplicates of favorites if possible, set a simple hygiene/laundry rhythm, and focus limits on health or dress‑code needs, not style preference.
Thumb‑based Morse code. Efficiency matters.
Ask concrete questions (time/place/yes‑no), use an image or meme to invite response, and switch to a quick call only when necessary.
No eye contact = less awkward.
Leverage side‑by‑side moments (car, chores, walk). Keep it short, ask open questions, and leave space for silence so they can think.
Yes. Evidence: eats your fries and still sits in the same room sometimes.
Notice and name small positives, keep invitations low‑pressure, limit nagging, and show steady care. Affection often looks quieter in the teen years.
Disclaimer: This page contains trace amounts of sarcasm. Consult your doctor, guidance counselor or other parents of teens when in doubt.